


that's all we are

by worrying



Category: The Get Down (TV)
Genre: Coming Out, Homophobic Language, M/M, Other, Supportive Ra-Ra
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-17
Updated: 2017-02-17
Packaged: 2018-09-25 01:40:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9796763
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/worrying/pseuds/worrying
Summary: Dizzee comes out to Ra-Ra.





	

**Author's Note:**

> In honor of Dizzee being confirmed bi <3

“You got this.”

It’s something that Thor had said to him earlier. _You got this._

It’s easy for Thor to say, because it isn’t _him_ about to come out to his brother. Why is coming out a thing, anyway? Dizzee can feel his blood pumping harshly, he can hear his heartbeat in his ears. He’s never felt this scared walking home before, except for maybe one time when he _swore_ a cop saw the can of Krylon sticking out of his jacket by accident. Thump, thump. If he doesn’t calm down, he’s sure that he’s going to throw up. Oh, _fuck,_ he thinks, as he feels a bead of sweat run down his temple. He’s never going to get through this.

_You got this._

When he turns the corner he stops altogether. He sees Ra-Ra hanging out by the front of the salon, his laugh echoing as he watches Boo-Boo doing some new dance move he learned at school. He’s frozen by the stop sign, dirty converse kicking idly at the rocks on the sidewalk. He takes a deep breath.

Ra’s his _brother._ His own blood. They’ve been through everything together, they’ve shared everything since Ra was a tiny little thing in diapers. This shouldn’t change anything. It shouldn’t. He doesn’t even know why he feels the overwhelming urge to tell Ra, it’s just that…he feels like he’s lying. He _knows_ he’s not lying, he knows he sounds ridiculous, especially when Thor made a face at him and said, “You’re not lying, Diz. Don’t be hard on yourself.”

It’s a funny thing, Dizzee’s mind. Sometimes he thinks too much and feels like walls are crashing down around him. Sometimes he thinks too much and feels like he’s free, like he’s running and never gets tired even though he should be.

And, no. No, he definitely knows why he wants to tell Ra. The other day, up on the rooftop, Ra had said something about a girl, and Dizzee had just laughed and agreed and tried not to feel like he was about to break out into a sweat. It’s stupid, it really is, because he _does_ like girls, he likes girls _and_ boys, but it’s the fact he hasn’t said anything about boys that makes him feel weird. The fact he hasn’t mentioned _Thor_ other than about his art, makes him feel weird. He isn’t ashamed of him, he isn’t ashamed of what they have. And it feels so crushing, not being able to tell his own family.

Dizzee decided to tell Ra first because he feels like he’ll be the easiest. He trusts all his siblings, more than he could ever express, but there’s something about Ra. He always knows what to say. This, it won’t be easy, but he knows Ra will say something and it’ll be okay, make him feel more comfortable to tell Boo and Yolanda.

Dizzee doesn’t know how long he’s been standing by the stop sign. Boo’s still dancing and Ra’s still laughing and his legs feel a bit shaky when he tries to move even a little bit. He’s thinking too much, and this time it isn’t the rush of freedom spreading over his body, he feels like if he moves he’ll fall into the sidewalk.

He takes another deep breath even though he knows it won’t help. It stutters in his chest, the breath, making him kick at the sidewalk again in frustration. He can’t seem to move.

_You got this._

He thinks of Thor again, because when is he not? He thinks of his long hair between his fingers, thinks of his lips pressed against his own jaw. He thinks of them holding hands in the darkness of the night, hoping to God someone won’t pass by. The colors smeared on their fingers, staining each other’s skin.

God, he wants everyone to know about them. He wants someone to know how Thor makes him feel. Like he can do anything, stand on his tiptoes and _fly_ if he wanted to.

He moves. He walks and he walks and his legs don’t really feel like they’re his own. But he continues until Boo’s arm swings out and almost hits him and Ra says something like, “Hey, where you been Diz?”

“Can we go up on the roof?” The words come out in a blur, quick and jumbled and for a second Dizzee doesn’t even think Ra understands him.

But then Ra makes a face and nods slowly, and Dizzee can see the wheels turning in his head as he nods to follow him.

They’re up on the roof, then, the peach colored skies extending as far as they can see. The clouds are thin and spread out, almost dissolving. It’s become their place, this rooftop, an abandoned building just a few blocks away from the salon. No one’s ever around and it’s so, so quiet.

“You okay, man?”

Dizzee just swallows. He feels nauseous all of a sudden, because what if he was wrong? Ra could never speak to him again. He hears people at school, hears the harsh voices. _Faggot._ He’s not stupid, he knows. Shao’s said a bunch of stupid shit before, and maybe he just doesn’t know better, but. _Fuck._

“Hey, whatever it is, man…”

_You got this._

“So, you know how in junior year I had a crush on that girl named Stephanie?” Is what comes out of his mouth. He doesn’t even know why.

“Yeah?”

Dizzee’s not looking at Ra, he’s looking at his shoes, but he knows that he’s probably looking at him like he’s insane.

He focuses on a black rock that’s by Ra’s left shoe. “You…the other day. A month or so ago, when we were with Shao and Boo? Doing the float like a butterfly, sting like a bee? When we saw Thor’s train go by.”

“Thor. That white boy.”

“Yeah,” Dizzee says, voice almost a breath. He’s looking at the rock like it’s the most important thing in his life. He doesn’t want to look at Ra. “Well, I feel like I…I like him like I liked Stephanie.”

He hears Ra let out a surprised breath, but doesn’t look up.

“So you like…boys?”

“Yeah, I do. Well, I like Thor. I don’t…He’s the first boy.”

“Can you look at me, dude?”

Dizzee feels his hand twitch at his side. _You got this._ He looks up. Ra’s looking at him with a small smile on his face. Dizzee feels relief spread through him like it’s never done before.

“So, boys and girls? That’s all you wanted to tell me? I thought your ass murdered someone or something.”

“Yeah,” Dizzee says again, laughter drowning out his answer. He feels a little lightheaded. Relieved, but lightheaded. “I thought you’d–”

Ra closes the small gap between them and hugs him. Dizzee holds on to his brother and feels tears prick at his eyes, nuzzles his nose into his shoulder as if that would stop his tears from falling. He leans up a little and sees the small dark patches on Ra’s dark green shirt and laughs a little. “I was scared, Ra.”

Ra-Ra pulls away from Dizzee and stares him in the face, shaking his head. He’s still got that damn smile on his face. “Look, I’m proud of you, bro. That shit takes guts. So what you’re…?”

“Bisexual,” Dizzee says. (“Bisexual,” Thor had said one day, when Dizzee was telling him how he felt. “You like both guys and girls. You’re bisexual, that’s completely normal, Diz.”)

“Bisexual.” Ra repeats. “So what you’re bisexual. You’re still my same brother. I won’t ever think of you different or anything, even if other people do. Who people like isn’t even anyone’s goddamn business, you know?” He pauses for a second, then smiles even wider. “And you better let me meet Thor. That white boy got style.”

**Author's Note:**

> This probably isn’t even in character because I just wanted to write something cute and short with my tiny ass amount of free time i have right now but I hope you liked it anyway <3 (also i haven't even read this over i'll check for mistakes later)
> 
> (me and dizzee, ur local bisexuals, hope u had a good day)


End file.
